¿Pero que dices, tio?

BY: AURORA

(The title must be read in a very thick Spanish accent or else it will not have the same effect)

On Wednesday January 14th I left a cozy, warm flat in Paris, and came to Madrid. I had to ride a bus to the Paris Beauvais Airport, and then wait about 3 hours to board the plane. This airport is the tiniest thing. Only 5 gates and all in the same room. Nobody knew what to speak to one another. People would ask ´´español?´´ ´´english?´´´or any of the other pertinent languages before engaging in deeper communication. The flight was a breeze. I sat next to a Chinese man-boy who lives in Southern France and is currently touring all of Europe. Of course I had to tell him that I know how to say ´hair´in Chinese. He didn´t seem to care much- I think my charm was simply lost in translation.

On my arrival, I was regretted by my hostess, Hermi, and her boyfriend, Victor. They are probably the cutest couple I´ve ever encountered. I can´t really do them justice; they are people you have to meet.

It is true that Spanish is my first language, but I wasn´t prepared for SPANISH Spanish. My confusion was made evident when noting that the Spanish version of Wheel of Fortune´s clues were even more of an enigma, and when I had no idea what I was being offered by a restaurant´s menu. I ordered the salad- clear in all languages.

I´ve become more used to the weird expressions used here, and my hosts have also begun to understand my ultra-Mexican lexicon.

I´ll relate what I have learned:
something is ´´mola´´ really cool
something is ´´ güay´´ also really cool (not gay)
someone is ´´maja´´ also really cool

Cojer does not mean the same thing that is does in Latin America. Funny misunderstandings. I thought that I was going to be violated if I went to the Metro.

For some reason, everyone is referred to as a tio or tia (uncle or aunt); instead of saying guy or girl.

And I don´t know if it´s my Hermi and Victor´s way of speaking or a general Spanish condition, but people speak in exaggerated terms here. A familiar expression is ´´ Que fuerte!´´ which means ´´How strong!´´ It´s used here after most sentences. Other expressions of extreme anguished used commonly ¨A la!´´ and ´´JJJJJOOOOO!´´

Example:
-A la, mira que esta lloviendo! Oh, look it´s raining.
- JJJJoooo, tio, pero que fuerte! Oh man, that´s too strong!

And Hermi seems to always think that impossible things seem to always be happening because her most common expression is ´´Oye, pero no me lo puedo creer.´´ or ´´Listen, I can´t even believe it.´´She uses it when we can´t find a parking spot, when she finds 3€ shoes and handbag in El Rastro, an awesome, open-air mega market that happens every Sunday.

I love these expressions as well as I love Madrid in general. I´ve been exploring the center of the city on my own for a couple of days now since my hosts both work (they are music teachers). When I am done cruising the old boulevards, like the Gran Via, and eating in parks (El Retiro = beauty) and plazas (Plaza Mayor is unreal) because I´m too cheap to eat in restaurants, I come back to their apartment and talk about Beyoncé, Madrid´s Big Brother (it´s a huge deal) and how stupid it is, or the Real Madrid (soccer is no joke here).

On a later post I´ll talk about more serious topics, like Barack Obama (he´s on the news 24-7), and what I´ve found Spanish people think about the US and it´s way of life-- well at least what my hosts and their family think.

Hasta luego!